A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place.

He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them.

The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, fifty fifty.”

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our the teeth

–A pissed-off wife was complaining–

A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar. So, one night he took her along with him.

“What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know the same as you I suppose,” she replied.

So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot.

His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered, “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband.

“And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”